To put this question into proper context, we need to review some background information first. The capacity to take joy in life is closely linked to biology & genetics. Studies have shown that a person is likely to be happier, according to the degree of electrical activity produced by the pre-frontal cortex of the brain. Even in studies of identical twins, it was discovered that each individual has a natural happiness level, and a person’s “average” level is almost always inherited. But this does not mean we are stuck with nature’s levels. We can rise above our natural level by practicing habits that encourage happiness & discourage unhappiness.
True happiness is what everyone is looking for – it is what makes life worthwhile, but it seems very elusive for most of us. There is opportunity to be grateful for our many inherent blessings and to see the good in everything, but generally, we do just the opposite. We usually do not miss any opportunity to be unhappy. This is easy, because our mind is activated and springs to life by focusing on deficiencies or what’s wrong. As we were growing up, we learned that some things and actions can harm us (remember not to put your fingers or hand on the hot stove) – so we tend to focus on dangers & potential dangers. However, we can consciously choose to be happy, regardless of our circumstances. In really intense moments of happiness, there is no thinking involved; these kinds of moments are pure and empty of thoughts – they are sometimes called “perfect” moments.
Psychologists generally define happiness as a state of subjective well-being – an inner feeling of harmony, balance and contentment. When you are happy, you like yourself, you are satisfied with your life, and you get pleasure out of each moment on a daily basis. This is living fully, in the present. Peaks of happiness, like falling in love or winning the lottery are intense, but short-lived. Happiness comes down to simply being content most of the time. That is what’s most important – how often you’re happy, not how intensely. Many factors that we may associate with happiness – good fortune, wealth fame – are not really connected to happiness at all. Research in Europe and the US has found little or no correlation between income and happiness. Good news, like a promotion at work makes us happy for a short while, then we adapt. Bad news, like a divorce or a loved one’s death makes us sad for a while, then we adapt. The mechanism of adaptation explains why people can be happy again even after experiencing a tragedy.
Most of our lives are full of routines, but we should not allow ourselves to get into the habit of taking anything for granted. Consider that if you have a roof over your head, you are better off than 75% of the world’s population. If you currently have even $15.00 to your name, you are better off than 85% of all people on earth. We can definitely benefit from practicing being more grateful, and we can choose to have a grateful attitude.
Now, there are several specific components involved in being happy. A 2002 study conducted at the University of Illinois by Edward Diener (a.k.a. Dr. Happiness) & Martin Seligman found that the most prominent characteristics shared by the 10% of students with the highest levels of happiness and the fewest signs of depression were their strong ties to friends and family and their commitment to spending time with them. “It is important to work on social skills, close interpersonal ties and social support in order to be happy,” concludes Diener. Psychologist Martin Seligman, at the University of Pennsylvania and past President of the American Psychological Association (1998) set out to explore what actively makes people feel fulfilled, engaged, and meaningfully happy. Optimism emerged as a strong trait, as well as a feeling of complete engagement in a creative or playful activity, when a person becomes one with what they are doing. This is described as a happy state of mind called “flow” by Hungarian-born psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.
Of course there are different types of happiness, ranging from deep ecstasy to enjoyment of daily routines. As human beings, we all experience emotional highs and lows, life’s peaks and valleys. This indicates that happiness is not a static but rather a dynamic state. In addition to this, happiness is inherently subjective, and these two components make it more difficult to measure.
Our axiological value-judgment based assessments are not capable of measuring degree to which someone savors sensory experiences, or fleeting pleasures, but we can and do measure significant factors that contribute to our happiness.
From a list of 64 basic measures, those relevant to happiness include:
· A person’s sensitivity to others and their engagement or depth of involvement with friends, family & co-workers;
· A person’s identification with their professional and personal roles, and the sense of personal satisfaction and fulfillment derived from actively engaging in these roles;
· A person’s capacity to listen and communicate effectively with others;
· Being socially adept and professionally proactive, vs. focusing on deficiencies;
· Being a problem-solver vs. magnifying problems or others’ deficiencies;
· A person’s general sense of optimism;
· How well a person understands their own strengths & weaknesses, and how satisfied they are with themselves;
· Does a person feel their talents and strengths are being put to good use?
· Does a person feel self-complacent, or do they desire to improve themselves by learning, doing & achieving more?
· Is a person optimistic about their life and future?
· Is a person excited about their life?
· To what degree does a person spend time doing what they have to, vs. enjoying what they do?
· Does a person feel that their life is making a positive contribution to the world?
· Do they feel their life and their roles are meaningful?
· Does a person have a clear and strong sense of purpose?
· Do they have a clear sense of self-direction and know where they are going?
· Does a person feel in control of their life & destiny?
· Does a person feel their life is close to the ideal they envision mentally?
· Does a person have good coping strategies when stress or hardships strike?
Once these attributes are measured, our focus is to reinforce our client’s strengths and coach them toward experiencing greater levels of happiness and optimism by giving them specific exercises and suggestions that will enable them to lead richer and more fulfilling lives. The dynamic interaction between a person and the world they live in, and progressive stages to developing their capacity to achieve greater versatility and adaptability is fully addressed in our new coaching manual The Playbook for Life.